STD Random Table

WARNING: The included Wikipedia links may show “NSFW” images.

I’ve been studying all week for a board re-certification exam, and I was bored (pun intended) I noticed that there’s nothing like this published free online. Yes… I actually Googled this and discovered that there is no random stable of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) for use within an RPG. (exception: there are tables of fictional venereal diseases in Alpha Blue and in the Book of Erotic Fantasy, you should go buy these if interested)

Contrarily, add “carousing” to a search, and there are plenty of hits. Additionally, there is a long history sexually inspired RPG material, ranging from the simple random harlot table in the AD&D DMG to the aforementioned graphic material. But, apparently PC’s (whether male, or female, or “other”) are immune to these sorts of things? I’d rather believe there are condoms included in every pack of iron rations, but now I’m just getting silly. 

1d14

  1. Chancroid
  2. Chlamydia 
  3. Crabs  
  4. Genital Herpes 
  5. Gonorrhea 
  6. Granuloma Inguinale
  7. Viral Hepatitis (Hepatitis BHepatitis C)
  8. HIV
  9. Lymphogranuloma Venereum
  10. Mononucleosis 
  11. Oral Herpes ‡
  12. Syphilis
  13. Trichomoniasis
  14. Warts 

 Indicates a disease that can infect any mucosal site (eyes, oral/throat, genital/urethral, or rectal). Either roll 1d4 or you’re gonna have to make a call based on the situation.

 Indicates an infection that is not strictly sexually transmitted; can be transmitted by other intimate/close contact such as kissing.

Disclaimers:

  • This is, in no way whatsoever, meant to serve as medical advice. Duh.
  • If you think this is gross to talk about? You should have sat through the 4 hours of review on this subject at our board review course last month… boring…
  • This is extremely simplified and abbreviated, meant for use as a simple random table. And, meant to be funny. In case you needed to be told this.
  • Don’t have funky dice? Buy a set. Or, roll 1d20 and re-roll 15-20.
  • Always practice safe sex. In real life, and in fantasy life. Or, get married, in which case you’ll never have sex again.

Smoking: Sutliff Aged Maduro Cavendish